Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Combating The Evils Of Wedding Planning Stress!

Being engaged and planning for that once in a life time wedding day is suppose to be a fun and romantic experience.  But most of the time all it does is put your relationship to the test. Because the planning process can be so stressful, couples often find themselves not enjoying the planning experience, or more importantly…each other!
Just to set the record straight, as the date of the wedding approaches, relational stress is normal. After all, you both are going through some rough transitional stages. Besides being frazzled from all the planning…you are probably getting anxious about the major life changes that lie ahead! Not to mention having to deal with annoying family members trying to get involved. Here are some suggestions that will go a long way in helping to ease the pain of your stress as you plan for your simple or fairytale wedding.

1. At least once a week, have a conversation or date that has nothing to do with the wedding. Don't even TALK about it! Go watch a movie, walk the beach, go bowling... anything that will distract you from the planning of your wedding. The first person who slips and mentions anything about the wedding has to pay for the date (or some other agreed upon consequence).

2. Take a day each week and have a "Wedding Conference Meeting" with each other. This is where you go over the budge, look at the "To Do List", talk about vendors, etc. Usually it will be the bride who takes the lead on this, but it will go a long way in keeping the lines of communication open and prevent any surprises and resentment from arising between the two of you.

3. If you find yourself becoming frustrated and irritated with one of his friends or family members, tell him how you feel, but let him deal with it. If he doesn't want to deal with it, don't get angry with his crazy aunt/mother/best friend, get angry with him for not dealing with the issue on your behalf. You need to remember that "blood is thicker than water" and you're not "blood", yet!  It isn't your place to confront these people, yet…and besides, they're more likely to listen to him than to you.

4. Always be honest with each other when you get angry or upset, but NEVER turn your anger into a war of "my family vs. your family". Stay focused on the problem at hand. For instance, if his mother is sending you over the "deep end" because of the way she keeps pushing for a specific reception location that you don't like or want, don't fight about how she has no respect for your desires, or that it is your wedding, not hers and that she has no right to tell you where to have the reception. Instead, leave your emotions at the door and discuss it for what it is - a need to control the size, cost, or location of the reception, etc.

5. When you start to notice that you are getting crankier and moodier, or you're having trouble sleeping at night, it's a sign you need to relax. Make an appointment to get pampered at a spa, get a massage...but do something that will relax you and refocus your thoughts on nothing for an hour or two.